Sunday, November 02, 2014

Why me?

In a few minutes' time, I will be seeing my two kids, the first time in many days. I'm really excited, the past few days have been terrible, being away from them, not being able to tell them the truth why mummy is not at home.

No, I wasn't away for work.

No, I wasn't enjoying myself in some exotic locales.

I was in Singapore... In a hospital.

On that fateful day, after work, I was waiting for a bus to go home, at my usual bus stop. To cut a long story short, I was hit by a flying run away wheel (rim + tire) from a container truck. Yes, a big huge enormous wheel from a big huge enormous container truck. I was knocked over, and suffered a broken right thigh bone. I had to go through an operation to put a metal inside, and I now have to go through months of painful physiotherapy to learn how to walk again.

Injury
The start of physiotherapy: I can only bend my leg with the help of a machine.

Why didn't we tell the kids? So they don't clamour wanting to visit me in the hospital, because hospitals are no places for young kids, in my opinion. That's why we've kept it from them.

Now they are coming to see me, I'm putting a fortress around my leg, so that we can explain to them what happened to me, show them my leg, and explain why they have to be careful around me. Kids being kids, they may forget, and unwittingly hurt me, and that's something we want to prevent as much as possible.

That aside, I'm upset, really upset, and feel really wronged. I was just going home, why did something like this happen to me? It's utterly unfair. I’m grateful to be alive, but because of this, I can't carry my kids, I can't sit on the floor and play games with them, I can't bring them out during the holidays because I'm home bound. I have to stay in bed more often as I get tired easily, and this means I can only spend limited time playing, painting, crafting, reading with them. This single incident has taken away my precious time with my kids, precious moments I was looking forward to during the holidays. All my plans are ruined, through no fault of my own. Why?

I can't swim with them, or run or skip or dance with them. I can't do all these until at least six months later, says the doctor, and who knows what further repercussions this might bring? Through no fault of my own, I'm rendered immobile. Why?

I'm crying, yes, every time I think about this. I can't help it, tears fall uncontrollably. Mum says I'm strong, but I'm not, I'm really not. Tears are falling as I type this. Why did this happen to me? Why?

And I'm afraid. Not only afraid of any further repercussions, but of big vehicles and big wheels, and of that fateful bus stop. I don't ever want to ever go there again. Or any other bus stop at this point of time.

Note: this was written on 30 October.

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9 comments:

  1. Get well soon! It's tough recovery journey ahead but stay strong. Hugs!

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  2. Please get better, Winnie! And you will! Jiayou and big hugs!

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  3. Winnie, so sorry to hear!! I know what you mean about the fear - recently we were in a very minor accident with a large bus, but now I feel less safe when I'm driving. Hope you have a super speedy recovery!

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  4. Oh dear! Winnie, I pray that you will receive complete healing! Hang in there. Ok? I broke my foot once and took me 3 months to recuperate. Though probably not as serious as you but please take my advise not to dwell on this unfortunate incident and get on with your daily routine with an inconvenience but nothing more. You will recover soon with physiotherapy. Stay positive and take care.

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  5. Get well soon, truly sucks to hear this! Any way to get compensation from the company? It's so dangerous!!!!!!

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  6. Oh hugs Winnie!!! I know what you mean about feeling "wronged"!! I had ten years of physiotherapy, no thanks to a whiplash injury from a car accident. Like you said, I feel so lucky to be alive, yet I remember crying at my physiotherapist's office because I would "never have a normal life". BUT I did get better and I'm back to normal now.

    Chin up! Things will get better! Xoxo

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  7. Sorry to hear about that! It's definitely frustrating and it's natural to be angry. But do stay positive! Must show the kids how you overcome this ordeal! You can do it! Hugs!

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  8. Oh dear, I am so sorry this had to happen to you. I had a friend's sister who was knocked down by a drunk driver and she had it much worse. Like your incident, she was just crossing the road as usual and it was no fault of hers. Things just happen sometimes, sucks big time! I hope the kids bring strength to you and that you will get much, much better soon! Take care and jia you, Winnie!

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  9. Big big hugs!! I pray you can move around very quickly very fast and you find much much joy as you recover at home. I can only imagine your frustration... please know tat we are all a click away and would be around if you need any support or rally to find anything!!

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