Daddy’s is back! The kids, especially Becky, are just simply ecstatic. Mum too! Having been away for a prolonged stretch of two months, he would naturally want to spend precious time with the kids, which means I will probably be able to ‘steal’ more me-time for myself. Yeah!
But before I get myself lost in Enid Blyton’s The Magic Faraway Tree and meet up with Moonface, allow me to share what I have learnt while the hubs was away.
1. Ask for help, and don’t be shy about it.
Just revealing that the other half is away will get many understanding individuals willing to help.
2. Be strong and composed at all times.
Especially when it comes to dealing with parents and parents-in-law. You no longer share the load of dealing with them with the other half. You are facing them full on, by yourself. So, Do, Not, Lose, It. If need be, take a breather behind closed doors, then face the world.
3. Never say die
There will be a 101 things to do, and the kids will be clamouring for your attention. It can get very tiring. Never say die. This attitude will go a long way.
4. Be strong, composed and always happy.
Since you are facing the full load of parenting and managing relationships all by yourself, it is easy to feel stressed and frustrated. Again, Do, Not, Lose, It. Not in front of the kids. Play with them, hug them, sing with them, talk to them, but do not lose your temper. In the rare occasions when you do, say sorry! And explain why. It may surprise you, but the kids understand. You might even get a reassuring hug from them.
5. List, record, whatever, to help you keep a clear mind.
Time will move like clockwork during this time. From work, to household demands and errands, to parenting duties, the list can go on. With everything needing a 101% of your attention, it is easy to get muddled and fuddle. So list them, post-it them, draw mind maps. Do it such that you are clear what is the next step, at every step of the way.
6. Enjoy the absence
Absence makes the heart fonder. You will miss your other half, you know. More and more as the days go by. Take this positively and channel it towards your kids. Shower them with love multiplied to infinity.
Most of all, keep the faith and be patient. And look forward to the day you hug your other half and say ‘I’m so glad you’re home.’
My dear C, I am glad you’re home.