Back again...

Howdy...

It's been a year since I last blogged. Well, besides some ups and downs in my life ever since, I must admit that as a wife, mother, daughter, teacher to my kids, and many other roles that often give me mental fatigue, I do feel tired very easily. Imagine 5am mornings... and by the time I put my kids to bed at 9pm, I am exhausted. Dead tired. So yeah, you can imagine that I don't really have any ounce of energy left for writing, editing photos or even adjusting the layout of the post, all of which takes hours.

But... I'm back. I still have 5am mornings. I still have many roles, and many things that I want to do for myself and with the kids, but I'm determined and inspired to manage myself even better, so that I can achieve even more. I think I've hibernated enough already. Time to get up and moving... hahaha...

So, some quick highlights of my past year. There was a death in the family. That's never easy for anyone, and I suppose that affected me more than I thought it would. It still does, tears still fall when I think about it, but well... life goes on, and I treasure those around me even more.

Last year in June, I went on a mother-daughter holiday with my mum to Hong Kong and 四国(Shikoku), Japan. It was a great time bonding with her, something that I had less time to do since the kids came along. We ate, shopped, went sight seeing and then did all that all over again. The important thing is, we talked and hugged and held hands... things we had not done for a long time. Here's a photo of us in 高松 Takamatsu.

Then this year, we went to Hong Kong together again, and to 北海道 (Hokkaido), for another wonderful mother-daughter trip. It was a good time to be away together, and mum's long awaited wish to go to 北海道, Hokkaido was fulfilled. Here's one of us taken at 小樽運河 (Otaru Unga), 小樽 (Otaru), which is known for glassworks, music boxes and sake distilleries.

So moving forward, what can you expect from me? More sharing of my primary school journey definitely, especially with my younger one going into primary 1 next year (oh no... no more pre-schoolers!). 

And definitely, more sharing about how I'm taking better care of myself. I think that's important for any mummy, even when we devote ourselves to our families.

So stay tuned. You can stay connected with me and read all about my personal and family adventures, through my social media accounts. Links are below. Thanks for reading this!

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Thank you for reading. If you like this post, please do connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter, so I can share our fun adventures, thoughts and exploits with you. 

Primary Prep - nurturing English language literacy & recommended resources

Semester 1 has come to an end, and I guess EV’s first foray into formal education has, well, been so far so good. She seems to have gotten into the primary school routine with little problems, and we’re glad we’ve always encouraged her to be independent since young. Taking the school bus since she was in pre-nursery was a good decision, as it has become a habit she is used to and enjoys. 

She even seems to have gotten used to the longer hours rather quickly. Granted, she takes her lunch later than what I’d prefer, and I have to wake up at 5am every morning to make sure she gets a proper nutritious lunch box. Overall though, she has adapted way better than I expected. 

Academically, she looks like she’s enjoying it and handling all the school work in her stead too. There was some help from me at the beginning - getting her in the routine of studying for her weekly English and Chinese spelling, and making sure that she does her school homework as soon as she gets it on that day. Now, I think she is already aware of her daily and weekly responsibilities when it comes to her studies. Next step, to get her used to the more heavily weighted assessments. Sure, at this level, there is less emphasis on tests, and, as her principal so loudly declared, all primary one students will definitely be promoted to primary two. However, being parents, we do want to see that she is handling even such timed assessments well, so it’s inevitable that we do get a little nervous. More than that, we would like to get her used to these weighted assessments, so that she doesn’t get a shock to her system later on.

Thinking back, I think one reason why adapting to the first year of primary school life has been rather smooth sailing for EV is because of the foundation she’s had since her pre-school years. While some may argue against starting so young, I think that it was precisely because we started preparing her early, that she was able to ease into formal education more easily.

In that area, DaddySay and I made sure that she had adequate support in terms of home learning.

Home Learning

I call it ‘home learning’ not ‘home schooling’ because my kids are not being home schooled. To me, that means having an education completely away from the official school environment, and in the comfort of one’s home. My kids attend school. In line with our belief that parents and teachers are partners, I focus on supporting and enhancing what they learn in school. 

Since pre-school, support and guidance is given to ensure that EV finishes her assigned homework from school. I also created supplementary materials to extend her learning, or use creative ways to help her learn better. For example, I used manipulatives like wooden pegs and bottle caps to create activities to help her learn her words or numbers. (Read more about how I use Daiso items to create home learning materials here.) I’ve also created worksheets focusing on certain vowels or word families with a variety of exercises like poem reading and writing and letter scramble. Sometimes, as she is learning new words, or when she uses the word incorrectly during our conversations, I would correct her and explain the grammar rules to her, such as present and past tense. I also created a DIY Narrative package to teach the skills and language for writing a simple story. 

Activities were pegged at EV’s level, but designed to stretch her that little bit more each time. We also had discussions during our nightly reading sessions, when I asked questions to gauge her understanding and comprehension, and discussed the elements of the story such as characters and settings. It was great bonding and many times, I had new, unexpected insights from EV about the stories we read. Till today, she constantly reminds me that though she is but 7 years old, she is a girl with her own mind, with many interesting perspectives.

Reading rather fluently at K1 may seem late for some parents, or others may think that it is way too advanced, but I like to focus on EV’s individual capability and progress. She surprised me once when she picked up a chapter book about fairies and started reading on her own, and since then, she couldn’t put a book down. Though she can read on her own now, sometimes she still loves to have me read to her. I’m fine with both. I’m just really happy to see her reading independently and enjoying the wonder that reading brings. I give her space to read books that she likes. I also try to introduce different books to her, including abridged versions of classics like Little Women and Wizard of Oz, and I’m glad to note that she enjoys these titles. I think it’s important to continue to nurture her interest to read various types of books, such as non-fiction, and discovering the world at large. 

Still, our home learning journey would not have been successful without some useful materials. Here, I’d like to share what we used at home to guide EV on her journey to primary school. 

Jolly Phonics and Jolly Grammar

A key resource we use is the Jolly Phonics and Jolly Grammar range of books. This was how EV learnt her phonics, which then lead her to be an independent reader. After that, we used the Grammar Handbooks to introduce to her rules of the English language, while reinforcing what she had learnt in phonics. One main reason why we have this is because her kindergarten used this, so we thought understanding this phonics and grammar system would help us tremendously in supporting EV’s learning at home.

Kumon Series 

I personally like how these books are scaffolded for different levels, from age 3 onwards. EV started off with the books ‘My First Book of Uppercase Letters’ and ‘My First Book of Lowercase Letters’, and gradually moved on from there to ‘My Book of Simple Sentences’ and ‘My Book of Sentences’. The difficult level increases with each book. What makes it fun are the colourful graphics and engaging layout. Exercises instil a familiarity so that kids can learn and remember.

After those basic workbooks, EV moved on to the Reading and Writing Workbooks. These support what we were doing with the Jolly system, and developed her reading and writing skills even further, while introducing more grammar and vocabulary to help her in her sentence structure and expression.

EV also likes practising her penmanship using these Kumon books. 

DIY Materials

We do quite a lot of DIY materials to help with the kids’ learning. The idea is to make it fun and interesting, so that they know what they learn can be applied to other areas. For example, in one of the worksheets I made below, I used the poem from ‘Fox in Socks’ to help EV revise some of the blends she learnt. At the same time, she is made aware of various recurring sounds such as ’th’ and ‘ee’.

Using the tongue twisters ‘Peter Piper’ and ‘She sells seashells’, I introduced alliteration to her - the use of the same sounds repeatedly at the beginning of a word, and she was also to see that language can be expressed in a fun way. She is also introduced to comprehension - comprehension of a poem rather than a passage. 

Simple narrative writing was also introduced. I began by highlighting to her that all stories have a beginning, middle and end, and that everything around us, our experiences, can be turned into a narrative. Then using the ‘think, draw, write, read’ strategy, I asked her to reflect on something that she’d like to write a story about, draw it out, and then write it out. She decided on two things - something that she liked, and a happy experience with her best friends. Here is what she drew before she went on to write about these two topics. I think being able to visualise what she would like to write about is an important skill so that she can more accurately and vividly describe her experiences.

As parents, we believe that we and EV’s are partners in her learning and development. Hence, the reason why we invest so much into supporting her at home. With AA now in K1, we are similarly holding the same belief and taking the same approach. I am using similar materials, with some adaptations to suit his learning style. I certainly hope that when his turn comes, he will enjoy primary school as well.

If you have a child heading to Primary One next year, I hope this list of resources will helpful. 

If you have any other tips on what to prepare for Primary One, do share!

Do check out our earlier Primary Prep Series, and do stay tuned for more.

Primary Prep - inculcating values
Primary Prep - inculcating life skills
Primary Prep - essential items to prepare for the big day

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Thank you for reading. If you like this post, please do connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, so I can share our fun adventures, thoughts and exploits with you. 

The mobile phone dilemma

Note: This article is an adapted version of the original, which was written for and appeared on Digital News Asia. Note too that this is a rather long piece. However, if you'd like to find out more about the dilemma we're facing regarding mobile phones, read on! :)

Oh yes, we’re settling into Primary One quite comfortably. EV looks like she has made the transition rather smoothly, taking the longer hours and bigger classes in her stride. I must proclaim - I’m so proud of her!!

Her primary school has a ‘no mobile phone’ policy, and they do encourage the students to stick to it. I’m glad for the school’s position, though I do know of some parents who allow their young kids, even those in lower primary, to bring mobile phones to school. Already, I have heard of at least one case where the student lost the phone.

EV and I have spoken about this too. She knows that she is still too young to handle a mobile phone, and she is aware of the dangers of carrying such an expensive item around. Yes, I’m glad that she has not requested for a mobile phone of her own, because I think that without the phone, she will be able to discover more of the world around her.

Having grown up experiencing the lack of the wonders of the World Wide Web, I can confidently say that I have been lucky to have enjoyed the joys that this lack brings. My generation climbed drains and went in search of insects, exploring the great outdoors in the most messy way possible. We played electronic games too, but these were simple, two-dimensional ones that still keep us feeling nostalgic for them. 

Our way of communication was basic. I remember being mesmerised by the rotary dial telephone as a child, watching the dial finish its round before turning the next number again. It trained our patience. Then the keypad telephone came about, and the ability to do call waiting and three-way conference call with three of my friends was just so cool, then. I spent the whole night chatting, much to the frustration of my parents.

The first affordable mobile phone was a zone phone which, as the name suggests, allowed one to use it only in a particular area. By that time, I was well into adulthood, and I could decide to get one for myself.

My generation didn’t have mobile phones till we were much older.

Today’s generation, however, is the digital generation. A generation that is growing up with increasing mobility, advanced technology, touch screens, the ease that Internet brings and, of course, social media.

Unlike parents of yonder days, today’s parents face two ubiquitous questions - should they allow their children to own mobile phones? If so, how old should a child be?

As parents of young children, one who has just entered formal education this year, my husband and me are well aware of the situation, and the difficulty we will face in making a decision. And we are aware that it will be just a matter of time before our older child starts to feel the peer pressure, and ask us for a mobile phone. Fortunately, we can use the school’s policy to put any such requests off, but we do know that it is something we have to address. It is not a matter of whether we will address it, but when.

Like many like-minded parents, we have deliberated over the pros and cons of giving our children mobile phones, and also at what age we should do so. We have not come to an agreement. Why not?

Mobile phone ownership should be as late as possible

Better eye health

One of the key reasons I limit my kids’ screen time to one hour per day, whether it is the TV or mobile phone or tablet, is because of their eyes. Research has shown that too much screen time can cause digital eye strain and potentially increase the chances of myopia. More than that, how the kids sit during their screen time is also important as it can affect their spines and postures in the long run. There is also the possibility of obesity if they sit for long periods of time engaged with the screen. As their parent, it is my duty to protect their health, guide them in understanding the reasons for limiting screen time (which directly means less time to watch their favourite cartoons), and teach them to take care of their own health.

Decrease distraction, increase focus 

While the research into the long term effects of extended amounts of screen time on children’s development may not be extensive, there is some indication that there is a relation between the two. And I’m not taking any chances. Enough research has been done to show that exposure to screen-based activities do have an effect on brain chemistry; it increases dopamine levels and makes the user want more. Already in 1998, research demonstrated a conclusive link between video games and higher dopamine levels. 

Just look at us adults now. Mobile devices have a powerful effect on us. They have the ability to distract us from other more important things, simply because we want more of them. The good thing is that we’ve lived in an era without mobile devices, so it is easier for us to break away.

The same cannot be said for kids who grow up surrounded by mobile devices. It is hard to pry them away from the mobile phones. Mobile phones become a constant distraction that they depend on, beating all other distractions that may be around the kids. 

During the rare times when my kids get to play mobile devices, I’ve noticed that they are very focused, or seem to be. Some might argue that this proves that mobile phones, and screens, do not distract kids; in fact, they help develop a child’s focus. 

However, the irony of it is that the child is only focused on what’s happening on the screen. This does not necessarily translate to having the ability to focus on other activities. An article by The New York Times has even suggested that too much screen time may be linked to attention deficit disorder.   

As an educator, I’ve seen young children totally focused on their mobile phones, but absolutely oblivious to whatever is happening around them. I’ve seen them eagerly pick up their phones to play games and whatnot, but totally unable to focus on their work. The mobile phone becomes a distraction from other activities that young children should be engaged in at their age, like going outdoors. 

So to manage that distraction, we parents have to control exposure to such devices when the kids are young, and to delay individual ownership as long as possible. 

Encourage face-to-face interaction

A recent research by the University of California showed that kids who have little access to technology were better at reading their friends’ facial and non-verbal emotional cues than those who used mobile devices more regularly. The latter group had less face-to-face interaction, and hence did not display the necessary skills to read human emotions. 

It is clear to parents what this means: for a young kid learn human interaction, face-to-face time is crucial. Mobile devices rob the kids of that, and as a result, could have a detrimental effect on their ability to communicate when they grow up. For me, I want my kids to be comfortable communicating face-to-face and from behind the screen, so managing their screen time is the way to go.

Develop the ability to be ‘alone’

Very often, I’ve seen kids in school take out their mobile devices the moment they are out from lessons, or the moment they are alone. They cannot be without their mobile devices. This over-reliance is worrying, and could develop into an addiction that affects their grades. 

In fact, in 2013, the American Psychiatric Association had listed ‘Internet Gaming Disorder’ to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5®) and recommended further research. Although this does not cover the general use of Internet or social media, the fact that Internet gaming, which many people are engaged in thanks to the prevalence of apps on mobile devices, is being recognised as a possible mental disorder and addiction shows that the medical professionals are increasingly worried about the potential effects mobile devices have on our society. It is our view that it will be a matter of time before the effect of general internet and social media use on mental health will be recognised.

Recognising this trend, and having seen for myself the difficulty young children have in disengaging themselves from mobile devices to be truly alone, I’m even more certain in delaying my kids’ mobile phone ownership for as long as possible. They need to learn not to depend on mobile devices to keep themselves busy, and to be able to search out other activities such as reading to broaden their minds.

Privacy & cyberbullying

I want to protect my kids’ privacy. I don’t want them to foolishly post something online that they would later regret. I want to protect them from being bullied in cyberspace. 

Well, why don’t I teach them not to reveal their personal data online, teach them to think before they post, teach them how to spot if someone is bullying them online and teach them not to spread rumours or gossip about their friends. That would be the most logical way to approach this, my husband would say. After all, how can we stop them from not owning a mobile phone, in today’s world?

Sure, I agree, it’s important to educate my kids about this online form of abuse as they will be exposed to such realities sooner or later. However, like any other parent, I would like to protect them from these realities for as long as possible. Besides, once they go online, they may not be willing to share their activities honestly. So again, I think mobile phone ownership should be as late as possible. Never, if I can have it my way.

It’s ok to own a mobile phone. They have to sooner or later anyway

This is pretty much my husband’s position. Health and focus issues aside, he feels there are ways to manage the children when they own mobile devices, when they come of age, whatever that age is. In many ways, I do see the rationale of his points. 

Use as a support

In times of need, kids with mobile phones can quickly reach call out for help, get transport home, do a quick search to learn a new fact, and even pay for meals. It is about the use of a device to support one’s daily activities in life and not be zombified by it. It is about balancing the usage, knowing what and when a mobile device should be used for. By educating kids about this, the mobile phone can actually be a very useful support tool. 

Use as a tracking device

Just the other day, when we were having one of our several discussions over this, my husband highlighted that his friend used the mobile phone to track his daughter, and caught his daughter lying about her whereabouts. Instead of being home, as she claimed she was, the daughter was hanging out at a fast food restaurant. 

His view is that, the mobile phone brings with it many technologies which allow parents to manage their children, including using it as a tracking device. It ensures their safety, and if they get caught lying about their whereabouts, then it becomes a lesson about being responsible and truthful to earn the trust of your loved ones. If they want parents to trust them with the privacy they deserve, then they need to work towards earning it.

Use a parental app

Another technology is parental apps, which parents can use to monitor all incoming messages, photos, internet usage, social media posts and so on, and protect the kids’ privacy.

Living in a world where kids are digital natives, parents are left with no choice but to adapt and assimilate, and to find ways to manage. 

My husband and I are still undecided about whether to give our kids mobile phones, and when we should do it. At the moment, we feel they are both too young to own one, but we are aware that the situation will change. They may very soon be surrounded by peers who own mobile phones, and may end up being the only ones who don’t. 

I know that it’s just a matter of time before they remind me daily that ‘I’m the only one without a smartphone. All my friends own one, why can’t I?’

If I do decide to give my children mobile phones, that decision will hinge very much on their maturity level and responsibility. Of course, ownership comes with responsibilities and conditions such as signing a contract to not go over the set number of messages and call time and having a parental app installed to monitor usage.

It is only through this way that parents in a technologically advanced world can protect their children.

However, till I have to make that decision, I’m not afraid to be a dinosaur, and delay getting my kids mobile phones for as long as possible, even if they don’t like me for it.

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Thank you for reading. If you like this post, please do connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, so I can share our fun adventures, thoughts and exploits with you. 

Primary Prep - essential items to prepare for the big day

My oh my oh my…. It’s exactly 12 days to the start of school. Exactly 12 days before EV starts her Primary One journey! Panic mode! 

Well, I think this mummy is more anxious than panic. Anxious because her little baby is growing up too fast, as I had shared here and here.

Anyhow, what has to come has to come, and I’ve been busy preparing her for the new journey, preparing her room and getting all her things prepared.

Here’s a list of what I’m putting together.

Ergonomic backpack

So every backpack claims to be ergonomic, but I think the real test is when books are in and the kid has to carry it around. While buying this, we had a few backpacks in mind. I stuffed several books inside and got EV to carry the various backpacks around. Doing this actually emulates the actual weight that EV might have to carry when she heads to school, and in my opinion, is a better gauge of how ergonomic the backpack is and how comfortable it is to carry. 

EV decided on the backpack with a better lumbar support and is more comfortable to her lower back. And of course, she chose pink, because they didn’t have purple.

Easy to open pencil box

Pencils & erasers, with additional for standby

Sharpener & ruler

An easy to open pencil box is, in my opinion, quite important. On one hand, the box (in our case, it’s more like a pouch) needs to be secure enough such that the things inside don’t drop out easily. On the other hand, it needs to be able to be opened wide enough, so that it’s easy for the kid to reach in and search for what she needs. And on top of that, it has to be extremely light, so it doesn’t add unnecessary weight to her back pack.

Pencils and erasers, sharpener and ruler. I selected a sharpener with a simpler and flatter design, so that it’s easy to fit into her pencil box. Extra pencils and erasers are always good, as I foresee many misplaced ones.

Pencil caps

This is to put over the pencils, so they don’t stain the pencil box. I foresee this item being misplaced quite often too, so I got them from Daiso. $2 for a pack of 18. Very good value.

Wallet or coin pouch

Some recommend getting a wallet in the kid’s favourite character. I’ve tried looking for one, but none of the designs seem suitable. I mean, all have slots for notes and cards, but really tiny coin pouches. 

At Primary One, I think the kid might need something with a bigger coin pouch. So, we opted for a coin pouch from Daiso instead. EV chose this one. It’s big enough for coins with a separate compartment for putting notes. But importantly, it can open wide so it’s easy for her to search for her coins, rather than keep digging for it.

Drawstring bags or plastic zipper pouches

Sometimes, the kid might have to go to a different classroom for a particular lesson. So instead of her having to search for that subject’s books in her bags, respective subject books can be put into various drawstring bags or plastic zipper pouches. The bags or pouches can be colour coded, so she just picks the correct bag or pouch for that subject and her pencil box and go.

Small notebook

Some schools provide journal, some don’t. Whatever it is, a small notebook is useful to let the kid take down homework, or teacher’s instructions. The good old small blue ones are light and handy, which can be bought from Popular for just under $3 for a pack of 10.

Plastic wrappers and name labels for school books

I think this is quite important to help identify belongings, which can be easily misplaced, and for protecting the books.

Hair accessories

In the permitted school colours. Otherwise, just keep to black, which is an extremely safe colour. I also got black hair pins, to keep stray hairs at bay.

Water bottles, at least one on standby

This is another item that can get lost easily, so we have one on standby. Both are labelled with the kid’s name and class very clearly.

Analog watch

This is helpful in honing the kid’s time telling skills. One that also shows the time in digital format is beneficial too.

Lunch box

One that’s light and not too bulky is a good choice, because the last thing we want to do is to add unnecessary weight to the kid’s bag.

A good pair of white shoes, at least one on standby

A comfortable, light, easy to wash pair of white shoes is what we opted for. We are also going to buy another one before the holidays end, just to be on the safe side.

If you have a child heading to Primary One next year, I hope this list is helpful. Fret not! There are still 12 days to prepare!

If you have any other tips on what to prepare for Primary One, do share!

Do check out our earlier Primary Prep Series, and do stay tuned for more.

Preparing for Primary One - inculcating values
Preparing for Primary One - inculcating life skills

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Thank you for reading. If you like this post, please do connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, so I can share our fun adventures, thoughts and exploits with you. 

5 Cooking tips for quick and no-fuss meals (when the babysitters are away)

December is usually the time when I clear my leave, so I can spend more time with the kids. We didn’t plan any long extended trip this year, just a short getaway to Malacca. The rest of the time, I sent EV and AA for inline skating and Mandarin speech & drama lessons at community centres, where such lessons are priced more economically. 

This is also usually the time when the usual babysitters who look after EV and AA while I’m at work take their break. So for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been solo parenting throughout the day, until DaddySay returns home from work in the early to late evening. 

I must say that I enjoy this hectic experience, of being able to be with the kids the whole day, caring for them, cooking for them, guiding them in their work and play, guiding them in little ways to be independent, and do the housework.

Here, I’d like to share some cooking tips, which I felt have been helpful.

Plan ahead and get the ingredients early

I try to make sure that think ahead and plan what to cook, at least one day before. I’d check that I have the necessary ingredients. If I don’t, I’d bring the kids with me to the nearby wet market, or plan a lunch date with the kids to the nearest mall to dine and visit the supermarket. 

Sometimes, I try to use the same ingredient for two meals. For example, I used a 600g piece of pork loin for two meals. Half of it, I sliced and stir fried with vegetables for dinner, and the other half, I cut into cubes for fried rice the next day. I prepared everything beforehand, and so on the day when I cooked fried rice, it was extremely convenient as I only needed to take the marinated cut meat out of the fridge, and then I could begin cooking.

Defrost frozen meat the night before

Planning early also means that if frozen meat is being used, then it can be taken out the night before and set to defrost in room temperature. Then I can get up the next morning before the kids awake, and start the preparations early.

Prepare the ingredients and marinate the meat early

I usually cut and marinate the meat in the morning after the meat has defrosted. Or if I had bought the meat the day before, then I would have prepared the meat the night before. This allows the meat to be better marinated, and, I hope, better tasting once I cook it. :)

I also try to get vegetables that are easy and quick to prepare, such as broccoli, cauliflower, chinese cabbage and so on. I would cut them early too, and leave them aside. So when cooking time arrives, I just need to toss them into the wok. The only ingredient that I usually prepare just before cooking is garlic, which I prefer to dice finely.

Opt for quick cooking methods such as stir frying, steaming, braising and oven roasting

I didn’t try anything adventurous during this period. It is hard to, I guess, when I’m the only one minding the kids. I needed to use quick cooking methods so that I can attend to them immediately if the need arises. 

Get the kids to help

This is definitely a great idea. It inculcates in them a sense of duty, responsibility and empathy for the one who is cooking, but it also helps in their finger dexterity. It’s simply another form of play for them. Who doesn’t like to play with food? 

These simple tips have helped me to multitask, and made cooking meals more manageable. They allowed me to spend more quality time with the kids, instead of just putting them in front of a screen. I hope you will find them useful too.

Here are some of the dishes that I prepared, using the above tips.

Braised pork with egg and stir fried vegetables (chinese cabbage and broccoli)

Minced pork with button mushrooms and stir fried vegetables (cauliflower and snow peas)

Honey chicken wings with steamed broccoli

Stir fried lean pork with chinese cabbage and carrot

Fried rice with edamame, diced pork, diced ‘lap cheong’ and egg

Stir fried diced pork with edamame and mushrooms

Cauliflower and tomato soup

Thank you for reading. If you have any cooking tips, do share!

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Thank you for reading. If you like this post, please do connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, so I can share our fun adventures, thoughts and exploits with you. 

Primary Prep - inculcating life skills

My little big one is heading to Primary 1 officially in about a month’s time. As shared in this post, we had actually started preparing her early. Kiasu? Nah… more like worried parents who want their little darling to be mentally, emotionally and physically prepared. 

In our last post, we shared about inculcating values. Today, let us share a little about what we have done to inculcate life skills.

Establishing a routine and setting a timetable together

Establishing a routine is essential, and this is something that EV and I have been doing together for over a year now. I get her involved in planning out her activities for the day and for the week. Other than her designated school and homework time, she designates her free time with her favourite colour, pink. 

This, I tell her, is when she can have her ‘quiet time’, which has to come only after she has finished her homework, whether at our home, or at her grandfather’s home. She can do whatever she wants during this period, whether it’s read or play. 

The only activity that is not allowed is any activity that has to do with a screen. Yup, I keep quite a tight reign on my kids’ screen times. All for good reasons - to protect their eyes, to develop their focus and to encourage face-to-face communication. So usually, they either get no screen time, or they get about 30 minutes of screen time a day, the most. And by screen time, I mean anything that has a screen, TV and mobile included. 

This is an example of a timetable EV and I did together for this year. AA has his own version too. We usually do them on the computer using Excel, print it out, then put it up in a prominent place, for example her bedroom and the living room. So far, she’s been quite diligent to follow the timetable. Of course, she doesn’t always follow it exactly; there are days when she does slack a bit. However, overall, she has reached an understanding that she must do her homework first before she gets her ‘quiet time’. And that, I think, will put her in a good stead when she heads to formal education.

This month, we’ll have to work together to prepare her timetable for next year. I’m glad to say that she’s quite excited about it.

Managing money

‘Money money money, must be funny.’ Eh… not really. Not when you’re dealing with a little tiny being.

A while ago, DaddySay and I started discussing with EV about needs and wants, and guiding her in distinguishing what is a need and what is a want. We hope that with this knowledge, she can make wiser decisions when spending money, and not just do so without thinking.

Which brings us to an important part about managing money and making healthy money choices. Three key habits come to mind: saving for the future, sharing with others and having a spending plan.

We have a coin box from Daiso with several slots. We allocated some slots for each day of the week; this is where the daily pocket money goes. Then there are two other slots for Saving and Sharing. 

When EV receives her pocket money, she decides how much she wants to save, how much she wants to set aside for charity. She is also asked how much she plans to spend. Through this, she learns to set aside a certain percentage of her pocket money for saving, sharing and spending.

At the same time, she also learns to plan for her spending, understanding how to compare her intended expenses to her available pocket money, thereby deciding whether what she wants to spend money on is a need or a want, and then finally deciding whether to spend the money.

Here are two resources which I’ve found useful in coming up with ideas to teach financial literacy to EV: Making Smart Money Choices and Budget Basics. Best part, they are free!

Telling Time

This is quite crucial, so that EV is aware of the value of time, and how much time she has spent on doing a particular activity. At home, we use the analog clock and the digital clock to teach her how to tell the time. 

We also use Kumon books to help her. These colourful books teach the skill of time telling step by step, with each step increasing in complexity. The activities are repetitive, so that the kids’ skills are honed well. I think that the fact that the graphics in the Kumon book are so colourful and well designed, it makes it more interesting for kids to do the activities. EV does like doing these activities and it boosts her confidence; she is usually  so motivated that she wants to do them again and again.

Packing her own stuff

This year, she had to bring her own pencil box and purse to school, as preparation for Primary 1. To teach her to take care of her own things, we also get her to arrange and tidy up her own study table every time she finishes doing her homework. She also has to clean up after herself every time she reads or plays during her quiet time.

In addition, she needs to pack her own bags. For our day to day outings, she has a little sling bag that she uses to put her water bottle, jacket and maybe a book or two. For our recent holiday, we got EV to think of what she needed for the trip, from clothes, to toiletries, to her own reading books. She gathered everything together, and then put them in her little back pack, which she needed to take responsibility of. 

Of course, there are a lot more life skills that EV needs to learn and hone as she grows up. These that I’ve listed here are just some basic crucial skills we think are important to help her in her Primary 1 journey. Definitely, DaddySay and myself will be there every step of the way to help her, in her Primary 1 journey and beyond.

Do check out our earlier Preparing for Primary One Series, and do stay tuned for more.

Preparing for Primary One - inculcating values

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Letter to EV: Longing

Dear darling,

"There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall and the bells in the steeple too.
And up in the nursery an absurd little bird is popping out to say 'cuckoo'."

You are familiar with these lyrics. They are from the song So Long Farewell, from one of our favourite musicals, Sound of Music. 

No no, this absolutely has nothing to do with goodbye.

Well, not really.

As you are saying goodbye to your kindergarten years in a few days’ time, and saying hello to primary school education in slightly over a month’s time, mummy is facing a wave of mixed emotions.

Some of these emotions, I shared about here, in another letter to you.

As the last days of your kindergarten years draw near, as you’ve confidently, and wonderfully danced your heart out during your graduation concert, as you head to your primary school orientation, one feeling reigns dominant.

The feeling of longing.

Longing for my darling to continue enjoying your kindergarten years. Longing for my darling not to start real education or face the stress or pressure that might most likely come with it. Longing for you to always stay happy and bright. Longing for you to never grow up. Longing for time to stand still so that you always stay my little darling. 

I think back to the first days you were born, how you charmed everyone with your bright smile. I loved the way you got into a ‘milk coma’ after drinking milk. I loved hearing your laugh, and watching you suddenly wake up from your sleep the moment you heard the Taiwanese drama serial theme song ‘我问天’. You were really so adorable.

I think back to our first family trip to Hong Kong, how we dined (but not wined) at The Peak Cafe. It was such an overwhelming experience for me. Years ago, when I was younger and used to fly back to Hong Kong to visit your great-grandparents, your great-grandparents used to drive all the way up the windy road to The Peak (then, the Peak was really just a park, with no shopping centre) and we would all have afternoon tea there. Then, The Peak was a peaceful, quiet getaway that the family enjoyed. 

I remember you diligently colouring some cardboard and putting them on your head, as a hat. I remember you painting little egg cartons and making grapes. 

I remember you dancing in front of a mirror in your aunty’s room. You were so cute as you danced, oblivious that your aunt was taking a video of you. Yup, my darling, there’s proof of your cuteness. :)

I remember your first day at your kindergarten. You were so brave and didn’t shed a single tear. Perhaps it’s because you had spent one year in a playgroup before, hence you didn’t feel afraid in a school environment. But you were so independent, and even got on the school bus yourself. Well, mummy sounds so calm recounting this, but did you know that I was a nervous wreck then? I was so worried about you, wondering whether you’d cope. Whether you’ll be able to take the school bus by yourself. Did you know that while you were getting up the bus, mummy and daddy were hiding behind the bushes, and then we rushed home so that we can be there to receive you when your bus reaches? 

Yup, mummy may look calm on the surface, but honestly, I’m shaking inside. I’m a worried wreck, and the fact that your primary school orientation is just around the corner isn’t helping. On that day, you’ll be introduced to your form teachers and perhaps get a few hours’ experience of what primary school life might be like. But I suppose it will be a far cry from what it might really be like come January. Till then, there’s so much to be done: purchasing books and a proper school bag that won’t weigh you down; purchasing necessary stationary; labelling and wrapping your books; purchasing school shoes and so on and so on. Yup, I’m getting worried just thinking about the list of things that has to be done. At least we got your uniform settled.

You know, you have made mummy so proud. Your independence, you looking out for your younger brother and your friends, your gentleness. Though you may be whiny at times, those times when you show understanding catches me by surprise and really shows me your big heartedness.

Most of all, I can’t bear to see you end your pre-school years and enter primary school. It’s a sign that you are growing up, and I just don’t want you to grow up. I love your child-like ways and I long for you to stay that way always.

Don’t want you to start real school so soon, and to always stay my little darling.

Love,

Mummy

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Primary Prep - inculcating values

In two weeks’ time, we will be going for EV’s Primary One orientation. We’ll be buying uniforms, books, school bag, so on and so on, to prepare for her entry into Primary One (oh my!) in 2017. 

Yup, this mummy is feeling the jitters, as I’ve shared here. More so than EV, I think.

To be honest, we’ve kind of started to prepare her last year. Well, maybe some of you may think that we were being too ‘kiasu’ to have started to prepare her so early, that we are being ‘tiger parents’ in pushing EV too early. However, do hear us out.

We want EV to be prepared. Not overly prepared, but just enough so that she doesn’t get a shock to her system when she has to make the transition from a carefree preschool life to a ‘pressure cooker’ Primary school life. From three hours or so of learning and playing, to almost six hours of academic life. From a classroom setting where kids sit at round tables, to a typical classroom setting with the whiteboard in front and the teacher talking most of the time. She’ll have more tests and the academic demands will be so much higher. It’s a drastic culture change and we don’t want it to be a shock to her.

Hence, we are getting her prepared on two fronts: values and academic knowledge.

Values

I would lie if I said as parents, we are not concerned about Primary One. We are. We would ask ourselves, how can we prepare her for this milestone? How can we prepare her mentally and psychologically for it, and yet at the same time equip her with the skills to help her handle the changes more confidently, so that her self-esteem is not affected? 

In our opinion, the key is starting early, and inculcating in her values that can improve her preparedness, for Primary One and for the rest of her life. The key is to nurture values like responsibility, discipline, focus and determination in her, values that can last her a lifetime. 

Responsibility, Discipline, Focus and Determination

EV has to know that learning is her responsibility, a lifelong responsibility; teachers and parents can only guide. 

She must have the discipline to ensure that her responsibility is fulfilled and the work done, and know that work comes before play. Even if she would rather play, she must have the discipline to realise that she has to finish her work, and not just play away. 

She must be focused so that she is not distracted and will pay attention to finish her work in due time, and then play or do other hobbies. 

Equally important is her understanding that she must always try and always try her best. Nothing should deter her because as parents, we believe in her.

Even more important is her understanding that it is ok to fall, it is ok to be wrong, it is ok to fail. She must never give up. The important thing is she picks herself up, gets over it, analyses what went wrong and how she can do it right, learns from it, and then tries to do it better.

What do we do to try to instill these values?

At this stage in her preschool life, since the beginning of this year, she’s getting homework already. At first, we guide her as parents. We remind her to do them, and also sit next to her to guide her. Slowly, we let go, and empower her to do her homework on her own, telling her to come to us if she needs help. Sometimes she throws tantrums as she prefers to play, so we let her play a little more, but tell her that she must finish her work before she engages in even more play. We also explain to her her responsibility. Of course, it’s something that takes time to inculcate, especially at her age. However, I’m glad that she’s displaying more awareness that she needs to finish her homework. Increasingly, she insists on getting it done first, and that I think is a great start. Because that also shows that she is getting the discipline and focus. 

Sometimes, when faced with some seemingly difficult question, or a new piece of music, or a new kind of food, EV throws a tantrum and refuses to proceed. We always insist that she tries. We advise her not to make a judgement of her own ability, or how something is, even before she tries. 

Eventually, after much cajoling, she does try, and then she realises that the task was not that difficult after all, or the food was actually quite yummy. She gives this big smile, with a spark of happiness in her eyes, and realises that what she thought was difficult at first was actually, in her own words ‘easy peasy’. That’s when we reinforce to her the need to always try.

Even when she meets with a problem, we will always ask her to try and figure out a solution for herself. If she doesn’t do it right, she has to continue figuring out. We will step in only when we see that she really cannot figure it out, but we only give her tips rather than give her the answer. 

Hopefully, the value of learning from trying and making mistakes can be inculcated in her. After all, she has to learn that a problem is not a problem when there’s a solution to it.

That’s not all...

Of course, it’s not just these values we focus on. Everyday, we try to nurture her and AA into good, caring, confident individuals with their own opinions. Everyday presents many learning opportunities for them: the way they communicate with their friends, the way they need to know the importance of thinking through before impulsively saying something or behaving in a certain way, the way they present themselves in terms of manners and behaviours; the list is endless. We definitely recognise that building EV’s character, and AA’s character, is immensely important. They need to have soft skills to help them tackle the increasingly challenging society, because unlike in the past, academic excellence is no longer the only way to be successful. 

And we hope that our way of parenting, will help adequately prepare EV, and eventually AA, for her primary school journey, and beyond.

What else are we doing to prepare EV for her primary school journey? 

Stay tuned...

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Thank you for reading. If you like this post, please do connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, so I can share our fun adventures, thoughts and exploits with you. 

Letter to EV: Preparing Mummy for Primary School

Dear darling,

You’ve reached a significant milestone. Over the past few years in your kindergarten, you have blossomed so much, into a cheerful, bubbly little girl who is so endearing to everyone. And now, this month, mummy will be registering you into a primary school.

We’ve been trying to prepare you in little ways for your primary school journey; we know it will be very different and it’s a totally new experience that you will need to adapt to. In fact, you already had a gut feeling that something was different this year, the way your kindergarten teachers were giving you more regular homework, the way mummy and daddy were trying to get you to finish your homework as soon as you returned from school. I know you are unsure and confused and I see the uncertainty in your eyes. You also can’t help feeling excited for the new experience, because many of your friends will probably be going to the same school.

In fact, my dear, this experience is as new for me as it is for you. 

I still remember a tiny little you, holding you for the first time; you fit nicely into my arms. Now you’re so much bigger, it’s harder to carry you on my lap. I love your first smile, I love the way you danced in front of the mirror, I love the way you bravely went on to the school bus on the first day of pre-nursery when school ended, without mummy or daddy (though we were hiding behind the bushes).

Darling, the past years are precious. Time has flown by too fast; you have grown up too fast. 

As I await for the time to register you into primary school, I’m having mixed feelings. I’m happy to see you grow up, to see you move into the next milestone of your life. Yet, I wish time would stop. I wish you can always fit in my arms so I can hold you tight always and hug you. 

At the same time, I’m apprehensive, and scared. I’ve heard all these horror stories about primary school, the level of stress, the number of graded assignments and assessments, and so on and so forth. I want to prepare you for it, but yet I don’t want to over prepare you. I want you to have the spirit of learning, yet I’m worried that we will be overwhelmed by all the assessments and projects that will have to be done. I’m not sure how I can help you to adapt to a totally brand new environment, with longer hours and more academic demands.

Yet, I just know you have the strength in you to adapt to whatever you may face next year. I believe you can do it.

And you know what? Mummy will be on this journey with you. It’s an unknown path before us, but I’m sure, absolutely confident, that if we walk together and support each other, we can face this challenge together. 

You have me darling, and you always in my heart.

Love,
Mummy

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