Tuesday, May 05, 2015

What I've learnt about being a fast & furious mum

It’s been exactly two months since grandmummy’s passing. It’s been hard, trying to handle the loss. At first it was rather surreal while waiting for the funeral, then at the funeral, the floodgates opened, and the healing had to start again. 

I choose to remember her precious memories, to celebrate how important she was to me. Of course, it’s hard not to be sad, it’s still hard to stop the tears from coming, but thoughts of her still bring smiles to my face. Like how she’s fast and furious.

Nope, I’m not making reference to the movie, Fast & Furious 7, though I did watch it. 

Fast  Furious

My grandmummy was fast and furious, and our family always remember this unique quality of hers in a pleasant way. She was fast because, though she was a tiny lady, geez, she walked fast. The way she zoomed in and out, left and right in between the crowded Hong Kong streets, while leaving the much younger generation behind, is enough to wow any person who met her. We the grandchildren were the ones who had to keep up with her. It was always ‘hey, mama is in front already, hurry!’. I miss playing catch up with her.

My grandmummy was furious because, though she’s quite an open-minded and understanding lady, there were things that she liked to be absolutely done her way. One look from her, and we all know, it’s time to shut our mouths, and just abide by her wishes. I miss doing what she wanted.

Can I be as fast and furious as her? I’m not sure, but I will try to learn from her and do what I can as a mum.

So far, I’ve been kind of fast and furious in a way, especially every morning. Up at 530am, shower, blow my hair, wake AA up, get him to wash up, change and eat breakfast. While he’s eating breakfast, I wake DaddySay and EV, then DaddySay gets EV to the toilet to wash up, during which I change and put on a bit of make-up quickly. After which, I help change EV, tie her hair, and once she eats her breakfast and the kids wear their shoes, we’re out of the house at around 7am to wait for the school bus. Phew! A generally mad rush on weekdays. Sometimes, the kids wake up and whine, and that does make the morning routine a bit more challenging, and that’s when the furious part of me is ignited.

The hectic routine isn’t limited to the morning though. Here's what I discovered I must do to be a fast and furious mum, to keep up with my very fast and often furious kids throughout the day.

Lead with loyalty and always stick it out for the kids.
Like how Dominic stands staunchly by his crew's side in the movie, his friends stick with him come what may, and place their faith in him. Similarly, a mum has to guide her kids as they grow and mature into individuals and stand by their sides no matter what happens. This devotion-at-whatever-cost mentality can build a trusting and lasting bond for a lifetime. It's all about protecting the family.

Know when to be a disciplinarian and when to let go.
In the movie, Brian was at first torn between his duty as a police officer and his love for street racing. He got over this dilemma and managed to balance the two, and even later giving up street racing to be a dad. Likewise, one must know when to get furious and do the parenting duty and discipline, and when to let ones' boundaries down and have a blast on the fast lane. Through this, the kids can learn that in life, one can on many roles, not just an adult who tells, scolds and demands. 

Impress the kids by making and building all sorts of toys, recycled or not with them. Better still, be able to magically fix toys with anything at your disposal.
Mummy, Jie Jie broke my toy!! Mummy, Di Di tear my book! Mummy, my toilet paper roll owl's feather dropped off!!! At times like these, any fix-it items such as sticky tape and glue become desired items, to keep the tears, cries and grumpy faces at bay. Even if the solution lasts for less than one day, it is good enough. Just like tech guru Tej in the movie.

Be a joker. Play with them, tumble with them.
It’s ok to let your guard down and let them see your silly self. Crack crazy jokes; be serious one minute and lose yourself the next. It lets them know that it's alright to just be yourself and have fun. It's also the best antidote to defuse an upset or tense moment.

Get romantic with the kids
Indulge in hugs and cuddles and kisses, all the time. Even if it’s a quiet moment, or during crazy play time. Smothering the kids will get them furiously giggling throughout. And it’s great for bonding too!

Almost there but not quite there. Any other tips to share? :)

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