2015 has been extremely emotional for me. I don’t remember being on such a roller coaster, even when pregnant. Yet, at the same time, it has showed me that I’m so blessed. I guess that’s the irony of life.
While still reeling from the freak accident I had last year,, my dear paternal grandmother had a life endangering stroke. I hobbled to Hong Kong to see her. It was an emotional trip - if I hadn't had the accident, I could have visited her in December, and chat with her the way we used to. I could have heard her call me by my nickname again.
Still, I was glad I got to see her, though she was in a coma. I knew she knew I was there, massaging her and talking to her. I was comforted that I managed to do that for her.
Then I found out that a secondary school friend, a year younger than me, died suddenly, leaving behind three young kids. I see her sometimes now, at the columbarium where my maternal grandparents are, and I say hi. And I'm reminded, life is so fragile; one can go when one least expects it.
Then my paternal grandmother passed away, and while back in Hong Kong to attend her funeral, an accident similar to mine happened. The lady victim died. And I realised: I could have died that fateful night in October.
Again, I'm reminded, just how lucky I am to be able to hold my little darlings every day. Nothing is more important than your loved ones.
Those few months were difficult, physically as well as emotional. Physically because I had to get back on my feet again. Emotionally because of the shock and grief I had to go through. Psychologically too because I still keep away from trucks and avoid bus stops.
But I’m slowly healing.
Mostly, I’m grateful.
Grateful for a supportive family, who stood by me and watched out for me when it was nearing the one year anniversary of my accident. They made sure I was fine.
Grateful for my pillar of strength, my husband. Without him, I don’t think I could have gone through this myself.
Grateful that, while the leg still hurts, especially during rainy days (not sure if this is a coincidence), and gets stiff when I sit too long, and may never be what it was before, I can still walk and bring my little two darlings out and about.
Grateful for being alive.
In 2016, I hope that everyone I love and care for will be happy and healthy.
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