Friday, January 02, 2015

2014 - a year to be thankful for

On the second day of 2015, on the day my little AA goes into pre-nursery and enters his older sister's school (oh, how he has grown), I'd like to take a few moments to reflect on what I'm thankful for in 2014.

My kids' health and happiness
Other than the occasional running nose, sore throat and the dreaded fever, nothing major has happened. Thank goodness. AA hasn’t had any relapse, and I pray with all my heart that it doesn’t ever come back. He’s gotten more playful, cheekier, and more vocal, just how a boy should be. EV has grown in heart and in mind, always looking out for her little brother. I love moments when they are playing peacefully with each other, and I equally love those moments when they ‘negotiate’ with each other in a more physical way. It tells me that they are kids having fun, learning about themselves and about the world along the way. Seeing them tells me that every sacrifice I make along the way as a mummy is all worth it.

My family
I’m thankful for a supportive family who never fails to rise to the occasion when my little family of four needs them. This is especially so in June and in the last two months. In June, my helper had to rush home to visit her ailing father, and the kids and I moved to my mum’s place. She helped to look after the kids. She ensured that we had well-balanced meals every day. She came to the rescue again two months ago when I got into a freaky accident. I needed some time to get used to being in a home environment after being discharged from the hospital, and to avoid having EV and AA jumping on my recently-operated leg. I moved back to my maternal home, and for those few days, she made sure that I was well looked after, attending to my needs because my movement was so restricted then. I’m thankful for my sister, who also made sure I got to the toilet safely in the middle of the night. And for my mother-in-law, who accompanied EV to her music classes every week since my accident. Thanks to these loving and supportive family, I was able to focus on recovery.

DaddySay
Most important of all, I’m thankful for my husband and soulmate. Without him, I think I would have crumbled by now. Immediately after the accident, in the ambulance, in the A&E, I managed to remain strong, to still logically answer the hospital staff’s questions. He rushed down to the hospital to visit me immediately after putting the kids to bed. I broke down immediately when I saw him. I was done being strong for the night, and all the frustration and fear and anguish and thoughts of ‘why me came flooding the moment I saw him. He is my pillar of support, and more during these trying two months. He has been bringing me too all my doctor and physiotherapist visits, and each time I break down whenever someone asks me to recount what happened to me, he is beside me, holding my hand, comforting me. Because my movements are so limited, he has been looking after EV and AA every night, putting them to sleep, rushing to comfort them when they have nightmares. I know he’s not having enough rest from looking after me and the kids, bringing them for their enrichment classes and going grocery shopping, because I can’t go, coupled with the heaps of stress that he’s getting from work. I’m grateful for him, and I hope that when I get better, when I can finally walk on my own two feet, things will be a lot easier.

My life
Yes, I’m thankful to be alive. I’m thankful that that freaky wheel only hit my thigh (amongst lots of other skin abrasions). Family and friends say that if the wheel had hit any higher, my injuries could have been more serious. So yes, I’m thankful, and grateful. Doesn’t mean that I don't get emotional  about it sometimes. At times, I still ask, why me? Why me when the other party can still walk around happily, leading a normal life, when I need to spend at least six months to get back to normal? Six precious months that could have been better spent, like bringing my kids out for adventures, like we always do during the holidays. My heart breaks when EV tells me that she misses going out with me. She understands when I explain to her. I’m thankful for an understanding daughter.

Despite the disappointment and frustration, I’m eternally thankful to be hobbling around, even though it’s on crutches. I’m breathing, I’m alive, and I can hold my two babies, husband and loves ones in my arms. That is something I will always treasure.

As I embark on 2015, I pray for a speedy recovery, that I can soon run and dance with my two babies, and for the health and happiness of all who are dear to me.

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1 comment:

  1. Wishing you a speedy recovery so you can be out and abt on the beach soon. Jia you!

    ReplyDelete