About two weeks ago, I stopped breastfeeding, one year two months after I gave birth to EV. When I share this with others, they always ask how I managed to do so for so long. Honestly speaking, I didn't expect it. For the first few months, I was always feeling stressed that I wasn't producing enough for EV, even though I let her suckle at every chance, or I express. I hunted through the internet for ways to increase production, and even tried remedies like sacred tea. They weren't much help.
In the end, I gave up. Not giving up breastfeeding, but giving up stressing myself out. I told myself that as long as I can breastfeed EV for at least six months, I will be very happy. If I do end up breastfeeding for longer, it would be an added plus. And I started 'drowning' myself in even more water.
Perhaps it's because I finally overcame a psychological hurdle that I gave myself. I'm not sure. But after that, amazingly, my milk just kept coming and comping, to a point when I got worried I was producing too much! I had to find ways to use the breast milk, including making steamed milk pudding or other recipes. In the end, though, it all worked out fine and I was able to breastfeed EV for over a year. I could have been able to continue, but EV was having more teeth and sometimes she would bite unknowingly. A couple of times, when she did that, I jerked in pain and I could see the fear in her eyes. She was fine after I soothed her. I tried to use a nipple protector, but that didn't quite work. Plus, after breastfeeding for so long, I felt it was finally time to let go. I finally stopped in April 2011, exactly one year two months after the birth of EV. Part of me still things back fondly at the closeness I enjoyed with EV when breastfeeding her. I miss it something and wish I could breastfeed her forever. That of course is not possible. But the memories I will treasure for a long time.
